Download e-book Jokes Professional Jokes : 120 Funny Professional Jokes

Free download. Book file PDF easily for everyone and every device. You can download and read online Jokes Professional Jokes : 120 Funny Professional Jokes file PDF Book only if you are registered here. And also you can download or read online all Book PDF file that related with Jokes Professional Jokes : 120 Funny Professional Jokes book. Happy reading Jokes Professional Jokes : 120 Funny Professional Jokes Bookeveryone. Download file Free Book PDF Jokes Professional Jokes : 120 Funny Professional Jokes at Complete PDF Library. This Book have some digital formats such us :paperbook, ebook, kindle, epub, fb2 and another formats. Here is The CompletePDF Book Library. It's free to register here to get Book file PDF Jokes Professional Jokes : 120 Funny Professional Jokes Pocket Guide.

The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick her entire body for several minutes and then rests his head at her feet. The circus owner's jaw is on the floor. He says, "I've never seen a display like that in my life. We had fun during the round, so I asked him if he wanted to play next week. He said: "Sure, but I might be a half hour late. I asked him if he wanted to play again next week. He replied: "Sure but I might be a half hour late. The gifts were sleeves of golf balls, inscribed with the lawyer's name.

One of the recipients sent an e-mail of thanks back to the lawyer saying, "That's the first time I've ever had a lawyer buy the balls. Today had been no exception, he was out early and played his Directly after golf he attended his great, great grandson's wedding. During the wedding reception, he was conversing with his great, great grandson, giving advice on having a happy marriage and a great life.

After a while the young groom said "Grandfather what's it like making love when you reach your age. They decided that they would adhere strictly to the rules with no improving their lie. After a few holes, one guy's ball landed on a cart path. As he reached down to pick up his ball to get relief his friend said, "We agreed that we would not improve our lie.

Altri titoli da considerare

So the man went to the cart to get a club. As he stood over the ball he took a few practice swings, each time scraping the club on the pavement, taking out big chunks of blacktop and sending out lots of sparks! Finally, after several practice swings he took his shot. The ball took off and landed on the green about 6 feet from the pin. After a bad tee shot, he played a "Mulligan" which was an extremely good one. He then asked the Scottish, "What do you call a Mulligan in Scotland? President of the largest gas company? The greatest wheat speculator? President of the Bank of International Settlement?

The Great Bear of Wall Street? President of the New York Stock Exchange? These men were considered some of the world's most successful men. At least, they found the secret of making money. Now almost 90 years later, do you know what became of these men? Charles Schwab, president of the largest steel company, died a pauper. Edward Hopson, president of the largest gas company, went insane.

Arthur Cooger,the greatest wheat speculator, died abroad, penniless. He played golf until he was 92 and died in at the age of Conclusion: Stop worrying about business and start playing more golf! Rabby tees up and hits it into the middle of the pond. He reaches into his bag to find that he is out of balls. He then asks Angus for a ball and proceeds to hit it into the pond as well.

This goes on for 3 or 4 more times and when he asks Angus for yet another ball, Angus says. At the green on the first hole, the atheist, lines up for a short two-foot putt, taps the ball, and the ball slips around the edge of the cup and does not go in. The priest, then tells the atheist that he shouldn't curse, because God will punish the atheist for doing so. On the second hole, the atheist tries a particularly aggressive chip shot to get the ball onto the green and instead lands in a sand bunker.

The round continues in much the same way, with the atheist continuing to exclaim "Dammit I missed! Finally, they get to the eighteenth hole and the score is tied. The atheist needs to make a two-foot putt in order to win. He taps the ball, and again he misses, and again, he curses his miss. Before the priest can respond, the clouds in the sky open up, and a bolt of lightning shoots out and hits the priest, killing him. Then, from the cloud comes a loud voice "Dammit, I missed.

Upon arrival, they noticed the most beautiful golf course they have ever seen. Peter told them they were welcome to play the course, but he cautioned them with one rule: "Don't step on the ducks. Peter Said. If you step on the ducks, you'll be punished. The duck squawked, and soon there was a deafening roar of ducks quacking.

Peter appeared with an extremely homely woman and asked, "Who stepped on a duck? Peter immediately pulled out a pair of handcuffs and cuffed the man to the homely woman. The quacks were as deafening as before, and within minutes, St. Peter walked up with a woman who was even uglier than the other one. He determined who stepped on the duck by seeing the fear in the man's face, and he cuffed him to the woman.

Peter said. Some days he wouldn't even move for fear of nudging a duck. After three months of this, he still hadn't stepped on a duck. Peter walked up to the man and had with him the most beautiful woman the man had ever seen. Peter smiled and without a word, handcuffed him to the beautiful woman and walked off.

The man, knowing that he would be handcuffed to this woman for eternity, let out a sigh and said, "What have I done to deserve this?


  • Agrobiodiversity and the Law: Regulating Genetic Resources, Food Security and Cultural Diversity!
  • Creating The Future - Strategies for Professional Growth and Personal Transformation?
  • Brag Jokes.

Soon, you will have urges and feelings you've never had before. Your heart will pound and your hands will sweat. You'll be pre-occupied and won't be able to think of anything else. When he opened the envelope, he was very surprised to find a voucher for a free visit to a brothel. He had never been to one before but he decided to go the next day even though he was very nervous. The girls were very friendly and soon he found a lovely young lady and went with her to her room. Five minutes later, she came running to the Madam and asked, "Can you tell me what a Mulligan is?

The husband ran off saying, "I'll go get some help. His wife, on the ground, raised up her head and said, "I may be dying and you're putting? I found a doctor on the second hole who said he'd come and help you. When is he coming? I told you not to worry. James asked the pro: "What do you think of my game? To which the pro said, " No!

It will help them fit in the trash can! He was playing the round of his life, but as the weather grew worse, his swing on the 15th tee was awkward, resulting in a hooked drive into the trees. His lie was a good one, but right next to a tree. He quickly approached his ball, set himself up, and right as he took the club to the top, lighting struck down from the sky catching his steel shafted 5 iron. His friends hurried over to see that there was a large crater in the ground and no site of Bob or his clubs - He was gone.

When he reached the pearly gates, St. Peter said, "Son, we are sorry to have taken you at such an early age, however, because you love the game so much, and you had the round of your life going, we decided to bring your clubs that you love so dearly so that you may play all the courses of heaven which are more incredible than any course you have ever played. Peter replied, "I know, you have left behind many loved ones.

Peter was stumped, "Well then, what could make you so unhappy, that you would cry like a three year old girl? What's a golf gun? Don't you like being married? Oh Shit!! And there is no such thing as a lost ball, because sooner or later someone is going to find it. Back to the Table of Jokes Cell Call golf jokes There are several men in the locker room of a private club after finishing 18 holes. Suddenly a cell phone that was on one of the benches rings. A man picks it up and the following conversation ensues: "Hello?

I am at the mall 2 blocks from where you are. I saw a beautiful mink coat It is absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it? I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and I saw the house we had looked at last year The one with a pool, English Garden, tennis court, acre of park area, beach front property I'll see you later!! I love you!!! I do too He found his ball and saw an opening between two trees he thought he could hit through. He took another mighty swing with his 3-wood and the ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him on the forehead and killed him. As he approached the gates of Heaven, St.

Peter saw him coming and asked, "Are you a good golfer? Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't go because his wife wouldn't let him. After a lot of teasing and name calling, Dave headed home totally frustrated. The following week when Dave's buddies arrived at the golf resort, they were shocked to see Dave sitting in the lobby, drinking a beer, holding his putter!

Then, my wife sneaked up behind me, covered my eyes and said, 'Surprise. Although Sam had a real zest for life he was constantly beset by bad luck. He loved poker but poker did not love him; he played the stock market with great anticipation but always seemed to be the one who bought high and sold low. His life seemed to be full of more downs than ups. His greatest delight was his golf game. Not that Sam was a great golfer; in fact, he never managed to break , but the odd shot that somehow ended up in the general area he had in mind was enough to keep his hopes alive.

Finally Sam became ill and passed away. But just before he died, he asked that his remains be cremated and his ashes be scattered just off the fairway on the ninth hole of his home course. Accordingly, a gathering assembled to carry out Sam's wishes. It was a bright sunny day and was going well. Then, as the ashes were being strewn Back to the Table of Jokes Weather golf jokes MacDermott and MacDuff were sitting in the clubhouse on a raw, blustery day, thawing their beards in front of the fireplace while freezing rain beat against the windows.

The pair were silent for a long time over their whiskeys. Finally, MacDermott spoke, "That was quite a round of golf. The long, straight fairway ran along a road that was fenced on the right. The green was slightly to the left of the straightaway with another road paralleling the green from which golfers often received heckler calls. The first golfer teed off with a long ball slice in the direction of the road. The ball went over the fence, bounced yards down the road, where it hit the tire of a moving city bus and was knocked back on to the golf course stopping just 10 yards short of the green.

As they all stood in amazement, a fellow golfer asked, "How on earth did you do that? Golf is harder than baseball. In golf, you have to play your foul balls. If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the snow, even during a hurricane, here's a valuable tip: your life is in trouble.

Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot rarely make a perfect shot. The term 'mulligan' is really a contraction of the phrase 'maul it again. An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play; it is always possible to get worse. If your best shots are the practice swing and the 'gimme putt', you might wish to reconsider this game.

Golf is the only sport where the most feared opponent is you. Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won't work, and both are expensive. The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil. Back to the Table of Jokes New Clubs golf jokes Carl and Dave were getting ready to tee off on the first hole when Dave noticed that Carl got a new set of clubs.

Dave asked Carl how he liked the clubs and if they've helped his game at all. Carl replied, "Oh yeah, they're great clubs! They've added at least 25 yards to my slices, about 30 yards to my hooks and you would be amazed at the size of my divots! We went to look for them and while I was looking around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. The ball went onto the adjoining fairway and hit a man full force and he dropped! Earl and his partner ran up to the stricken victim who lay unconscious with the ball between his feet. You think that some day you'll shoot your age, when a more realistic goal would be to shoot your weight!

You know there's more to life than golf, but your'e not interested in finding out what it is! You quit the game forever, twice a month! You think you're skillful and everybody else is lucky! You miss the ball, but still think it was a great swing! The new clubs you just bough cost more than your mortgage and car payment combined! You can't break a but still think you could give Tiger a few tips! Back to the Table of Jokes Weight golf jokes A recent study had some interesting conclusions on the weight of golfers in a particular summer industrial golf league.

This study indicated that the single golfers who play in these leagues are 'skinnier' than the married ones. The study's explanation for this result was interesting. It seems that the single golfer goes out and plays his round of golf, has a 'refreshment' at the 19th hole, goes home and goes to his refrigerator, finds nothing decent there and goes to bed. The married golfer goes out and plays his round of golf, has a 'refreshment' at the 19th hole, goes home and goes to bed, finds nothing decent there, so he goes to his refrigerator. Back to the Table of Jokes Obituary golf jokes A woman goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is published.

The obit editor informs her that there is a charge of 50 cents per word. At a short par-3 the priest asks, "What are you going to use on this hole my son? How about you? The priest tops his 7-iron and dribbles the ball out a few yards. The young man says, "I don't know about you Father, but in my church when we pray, we keep our head down. While waiting on the first tee, he saw the two-some in front of him throw something shiny in the trash.


  • Chronological Aspects of the Life of Christ.
  • Here are 121 public repositories matching this topic....
  • Looking at Lysistrata: Eight Essays and a New Version of Aristophanes Provocative Comedy;
  • ~ Time for a Laugh or Two ~.

After they got halfway down the fairway, the guy reached into the trash and pulled out a golden bowl. He rubbed it to get the dirt off and a genie popped out. The genie told the guy that he would grant him 3 wishes, under the circumstances that his ex-wife would get double what he wished for. The guy said he wanted a Lamborghini.

The 100 Jokes That Shaped Modern Comedy

The genie reassured him that his ex-wife would get two of them. The genie said there was a Lamborghini in his driveway. As luck would have it, he died soon after and when the funeral was over, his buddies met. The doctor in the group said "I have a confession to make. I put in an empty envelope and I used the money to buy equipment for the free clinic. He replied "I most certainly did I just can't putt anymore. I've lost my touch. It must be my nerves or maybe it's old age" Jimmy, sarcastically replies, "Or maybe it's that six-pack you drank on the front nine" Back to the Table of Jokes Secrets of Great Golf golf jokes A reporter was interviewing Jack Nicklaus.

He said, "Jack, you are spectacular, your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the course. What is your secret? Standing by him is his golf clubs and bag. His bride whispers: "What are your golf clubs doing here? So, he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and persuaded him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away.

This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish.

Setting up on the first tee, he was all alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church! At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?

Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why did you let him do that? As he got into his sixties, his eyes started to fail him. He didn't want to give the game up, so he went to see the family eye doctor. The doctor said there wasn't much he could do, but he knew of a 97 year old man who still had perfect sight, could see like an eagle. The doctor gave Mac the old man's name and suggested that he could use him to watch where he hit his golf ball.

Mac, of course, didn't believe the doctor. The old guy was almost a century old, but could see like an eagle! Well Mac made arrangements to bring Wilbur golfing. On the first tee, Mac drove his ball about yards, but of course, he couldn't see where it went. He asks Wilbur, "Did you see my shot? His buddy asked, "How many strokes did it take you to get out of there? Just as they reached the first tee, a beautiful young blonde woman carrying her bag of clubs approached them. She explained that the member who brought her to the club for a round of golf had an emergency that called him away and asked the trio whether she can join them.

Naturally, the guys all agreed. If any of you wants to smoke cigars, have a beer, bet, swear, or tell off-color stories or do anything that you normally do when playing a round together, go ahead. All eyes were fastened on her shapely behind as she bent to place her ball on the tee. She then took her driver and hit the ball yards down the middle, right in front of the green. She was closest to the pin. I left a tricky little putt. Having the honors, she drove first on the second hole and knocked the hell but of the ball, and it landed nearly yards away smack in the middle of the fairway.

For the rest of the round the statuesque blonde continued to amaze the guys, quietly and methodically shooting for par or less on every hole. When they arrived at the 18th green, the blonde was three under par, and had a very nasty foot putt on an undulating green for a par. It will get over that little hump and break right into the cup.

Choose Your Golf Joke Below

Your car or mine? If you are having trouble with golf, it is perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to show you how to improve your technique The Ten Commandments do not say anything about golf. If your partner takes pictures or videotapes of you golfing, you don't have to worry about them showing up on the Internet, then you become famous Your golf partner won't keep asking questions about other partners you've golfed with It's perfectly respectable to golf with a total stranger When you see a really good golfer, you don't have to feel guilty about imagining the two of you golfing together.

Nobody will ever tell you that you will go blind if you golf by yourself. When dealing with a golf pro, you never have to wonder if they are really an undercover cop. You don't have to go to a sleazy shop in a seedy neighborhood to buy golf stuff. You can have a golf calendar on your wall at the office, tell golf jokes and invite co-workers to golf with you without getting sued for harassment There is no such thing as a golf transmitted disease If you want to watch golf on television, you don't have to subscribe to a premium cable channel.

Nobody expects you to promise to golf with just one partner for the rest of your life. Nobody expects you to give up golfing if your partner loses interest in the game. You don't have to be a newlywed to plan a vacation primarily for the enjoyment of golf. Your golf partner will never say, "What? We just golfed last week! Is that all you ever think about? He stood up and said, "Well, you poor useless lot of sissies, there is too much good in the world.

You are all time wasters and you make me sick. Instead you waste your time playing silly games. So what are you going to do about it? I know I'm not as powerful as you but may I make a suggestion? It seems to me if we could build them up and knock them down, the pain would be so great that we will soon gain control. Taylor for a new set of dentures in the morning. His friend remarked that he had gone to the same dentist a few years before. On the 6th hole he hits a huge banana ball.

By its size I could not guess The awesome strength it does possess; golf jokes golf jokes But since I fell beneath its spell golf jokes I've wandered through the fires of Hell. My life has not been quite the same Since I chose to play this game. A fortune it has made me spend. It has made me curse and cry. It promises a thing called "par". If I can hit it straight and far. But my desires the ball refuses golf jokes And does exactly as it choses. It hooks and slices.. With miles of grass on which to land It finds a tiny patch of sand. Then has me offering up my soul If it will just drop in the hole.

But "The Ball" knows I'll be back They have been in good health the last ten years, mainly due to the wife's nearly neurotic interest in health food. When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite, complete with Jacuzzi. As they "oohed and aahed' the old man asked St. Peter how much all this was going to cost. Peter replied, "Remember, this is Heaven. They would have golfing privileges every day, and each week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on Earth.

The old man asked, "What are the green fees? Peter replied. Peter asked. It's free! This is Heaven. I could have been here ten years ago! He asks his Irish caddy if he has noticed any obvious reasons for his poor tee shots, to which the caddy replies: "Aye, there's a piece of shit on the end of your driver. Back to the Table of Jokes Fore golf jokes A duffer hits a wicked slice off the tee that ricocheted through the trees and onto the next fairway, narrowly missing another golfer.

When he got to his ball, he was greeted by the unintentional target, who angrily told him of the near miss. Back to the Table of Jokes Sucker golf jokes A fellow is getting ready to tee-off on the first hole when a second fellow approaches and asks if he can join him. The first says that he usually plays alone but agrees to let the second guy join him.

Both are even after the first couple of holes. The second guy says "Say, we're about evenly matched, how about we play for five bucks a hole? The first fellow reveals that he's the Parish Priest at the local Catholic Church to which the second fellow gets all flustered and apologetic and offers to give the Priest back his money. The Priest says, "No, no. You won fair and square and I was foolish enough to bet with you. You keep your winnings.

Then, if you bring your mother and father by after Mass, I'll marry them for you. He was a phenomenal putter. His wife was still in bed when he got there, so he took off his clothes and snuggled up to his wife and said "Terrible weather out there. They advise golfers to wear noise-producing devices such as little bells on their clothing to alert, but not startle the bears unexpectedly. They also advise you to carry pepper spray in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch for signs of bear activity. Golfers should be able to recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear droppings on the golf course.

Black bear droppings are smaller and contain berries and possibly squirrel fur. Grizzly bear droppings have little bells in them and smell like pepper spray. Back to the Table of Jokes Personal Ads golf jokes The forty-something business executive - and an avid golfer, was browsing the personal ads on the internet when he came across an interesting ad from an attractive lady living in the same town as him. The ad read as follows - Slim, attractive, buxom blonde, 5'6" lbs. Seeks similar qualities in a partner for long term relationship. The men hit first from the men's tee and walked with the ladies to their tee box.

The first lady took a mighty swing at the ball, missing it completely, while passing some gas rather loudly in the process. No one commented. She said, "I wonder why it didn't go any further? Joe's game is perfect that day, and he is giving the priest a thorough drubbing. The priest can only sigh as he fills in the scorecard from the last hole. Sensing his pastor's unhappiness, Joe says to him, "Cheer up Father - just think, one of these days you will be giving the services at my funeral.

Another study found golfers drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means, on average, golfers get about 41 miles to the gallon. Kind of makes you proud - Almost feels like a hybrid. Back to the Table of Jokes Tough Round golf jokes A man comes home after a terrible round of golf, his worst ever. He plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, "Get me a beer before it starts.

Fifteen minutes later, he says, "Get me another beer before it starts. He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, "Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute. She yells at him "You've been out golfing all day! Is that all you're going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore. And now it's started. She hangs onto Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word.

His buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, "Bob, how did you get the trophy girlfriend? She's my wife! The counselor asks them what the problem is and the wife goes into a rage, listing every problem they had in the last 15 years they've been married, and she goes on and on and on. Finally the counselor gets up, goes around the desk, embraces the woman, and kisses her passionately. The Pope asks her to do this.

Then, she waves her hand and everyone cheers.

Welcome To Our Sortable Gallery Of Statistics Jokes!

The Pope then says, "by moving my hand, I can make all the people in Ireland happy fore A threesome! So a Polack brags to his buddy, "Man, what a night I had last night. I had a threesome! That's awesome! But let me ask you: how could you tell them apart? The Dr tells him that men usually brag about such things. On his way home he sees a man standing at a bus stop, so he walks up to him: -Hey Buddy, you wanna bet that the two of us has 5 balls altogether?

The str Dave is the man Four mothers talking about their sons success, when the first one say "My son is so successful that he bought a boat for his friends", other mother reply "That's nothing, my son is so successful that he bought a friend of his a house", "well i don't mean to brag" said the third mother "but my son is HOW TO SATISFY A WOMAN: Caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, make plans, fix, empathize, serenade, compliment, support, feed, tantalize, bathe, humor, placate, stimulate, jiffylube, stroke, console, purr, hug, coddle, excite, pacify, protect, phone, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to, Three cowboys Three cowboys sit around a campfire.

One starts to brag about himself. This one time I fought a pack My neighbor's wife is better than mine! I've always felt an irresistible attraction for the neighbour next door. One day, when speaking to her husband, he said: "I need to have my apartment painted, but I work all day and I get tired.

I tried to hire a professional painter but the guy asked me for the an arm and a leg A long-neck giraffe is eating with a rabbit in the forest When I'm eating, delicious food usually lingers in my throat and oh my, the taste, the scent, that feels really good! Two women sit on a porch in plantation times: One is the daughter of a rich plantation owner and the other is the daughter of an average middle class southerner. The rich daughter loves to brag so naturally she looks over at the middle class daughter and says "My daddy just got me this pretty dress, see all these intricate frills?

Bananas A girl realized that she had grown hair in between her legs. She got worried and asked her mother about it. Her mother although perplexed, feigned a calm exterior, and said - "That part where hair has grown is called monkey. Be proud that your monkey has grown hair! A sweet young girl walks into an elevator at Macy's, trailing a cloud of expensive perfume. The lift reaches the second floor where the old lady is about to get off. As she steps out of the elevator, she rips out a rumbling fart.

Trailing a heavy cloud, she smiles sweetly and announces, broccoli, 49 cents a p A man with a really tiny penis seeks help A friend suggests him to visit a guru. The guru is sitting on top of a rock and asks the man to climb it with the help of a rope hanging from it. The man climbs up and tells him about his problems. Guru gives him a lotion and asks him to apply it daily. Rejoiced, the man exclaims "you must be A cop, a firefighter, and a bureaucrat are at a elementary school career day Hey girl, I heard you like bad boys Well not to brag or anything but I'm bad at everything.

A guy meets his buddy at the bar. He says, "I don't want to brag, but when I walked in, those two girls by the door looked at me, then both said to each other, 'nine' ". His buddy said, "Really? When I walked in, they were speaking German! A Maltese and an Italian walk into a bakery The italian steal three buns, and hides them in his pocket. He turns to the Maltese man anf brags, "that took great skill and courage to steal those buns. The owner didn t even see me! My best friend swore up and down that he would stop taking credit for my accomplishments.

Then today he called me to brag that he got his wife pregnant. Trumpcare A British doctor brags to colleagues: "In Britain, medicine is so advanced that we removed a man's backbone, put it in another man, and in 6 weeks, he was looking for work. I'm gonna start a company that makes medium sized pickles Not to brag or anything but it's kind of a big dill. I ran into an old acquaintance from school the other day.

He always liked to brag and the years didn't change that as he stood there telling me about how great his life is. He told me about how he landed this miracle job, he showed me pictures of his flashy Mercedes, his house in the countryside then showed more pictures telling me to "take a look at my go Over the next few weeks his friends try their hands at it over and over again, but they Step 1: Name your dog miles.

Step 2: Brag that you walk miles every day. An African, an Indian and a Chinese All tied up and about to be killed the chief told them the only way he'll let them go is if their dicks add up to 20 inches in length. The African whips his out and and it's an impressive 11 inches, the Indian pulls his out Merkel, Putin and Obama are at a conference when they decide to go outside for some fresh air and talk. Together they stroll along the coast, as Obama suddendly starts to brag: "Our nuclear submarines can stay underwater for days, without ever needing to emerge!

What do you call a bunny that sings supercalifragilisticexpialidocious? Mary Hoppins By the way, not to brag, but I got that spelling right without Googling. An average American voter walks into a bar Intrigued, the voter approaches the pair and asks them what they are doing.

Gary Ramseyer's First Internet Gallery of Statistics Jokes

A penny saved is a penny earned A man enters a bus one day And sits next to the most beautiful nun he's ever seen. He tries to contain his excitement, but after awhile, he asks her "Sister, I know you are not supposed to, but I find you to be the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I would not forgive myself if I did not try. Would you grant me th Did I ever tell you guys about the time I made it with my really hot math teacher? I once dated a biologist. I don't like to brag, but I always provided her with multiple organisms to keep her happy.

Four men got together to play golf one sunny morning. Because it has attracted low-quality or spam answers that had to be removed, posting an answer now requires 10 reputation on this site the association bonus does not count. Would you like to answer one of these unanswered questions instead? Sign up to join this community. The best answers are voted up and rise to the top. Home Questions Tags Users Unanswered. What is the first part of a joke called?

Ask Question. Asked 7 years, 2 months ago. Active 3 years, 10 months ago. Viewed 9k times. How does one refer to the first part of a joke? I usually use the term "run-up". Related: in a comedy team, the run-up or set-up delivered by a straight-man is called a straightline which, incidentally, is the shortest distance between two puns.